Something about this island makes me want to write again. It makes me want to wake up early, try to meditate, read books all afternoon. And surprisingly, there are so many pretty things to photograph but I don't have any urge to pick up my camera — with the exception of Instagram, of course ;) haha
Just one week ago I was in Seattle and I felt this crazy urgency to update my website, get new clients, improve my marketing and redesign my studio. I was in this constant state of stress with too much to do; always jealous of photographers who appeared to be more successful than me. All my work was computer-based but I desperately wanted to spend less time in front of a screen and more time in the garden.
I felt this ugly tension between what I was doing (workaholic photographer running the rat-race towards online fame & fancy fortune), what I thought I should do (keep trying, dress more glamorously, create an glamourous brand + somehow find a happy work-life balance), and what I wanted to do (run a yoga retreat, barefoot, unplugged, simplicity, taking pretty photos for fun & writing books).
Here in Hawaii, the warm breeze seems to be blowing away that sense of urgency, the stress, the jealousy. For example, normally I avoid creativeLIVE like the plague because seeing that community of people that I used to be involved in stirs up my yucky envious feelings (because I'm no longer included in that fast-paced high-achieving limelight world) but today... a creativeLIVE post popped up on my Facebook feed and I noticed that I've started to care less. I actually watched a bit of a cL workshop while walking down the beach this morning. Now, instead of feeling like I'm missing out, I feel like I'm on a completely different path — now it's apples to mangos — no point comparing the two. I'm doing my own thing. I'm on my own exciting adventure. I'm on a beach in Maui — somewhere I'd much rather be right now than in the cL warehouse in downtown Seattle (no offense cL homies).