Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Ceremony Reading :: Love vs. Being in Love

In preparation for Ruthie & James' wedding, I spent all of last week watching Jasmine Star's 5 day creativeLIVE course on wedding photography, in which she photographed a live wedding! During Laura & Billy's wedding there was a reading that I absolutely loved. I loved it so much, in fact, I ran straight to Google so I could have my own copy of these wise words from C.S. Lewis and share them here with you...

"If the old fairytale ending "They lived happily ever after" is taken to mean "They felt for the next fifty years exactly as they felt the day before they were married," then it says what probably never was nor ever could be true, and would be highly undesirable if it were. Who could bear to live in that excitement for even five years? What would become of your work, your appetite, your sleep, your friendships? But, of course, ceasing to be "in love" need not mean ceasing to love. Love in this second sense-love as distinct from "being in love" is not merely a feeling. It is a deep unity, maintained by the will and deliberately strengthened by habit; reinforced by (in Christian marriages) the grace which both parents ask, and receive, from God. They can have this love for each other even at those moments when they do not like each other; as you love yourself even when you do not like yourself. They can retain this love even when each would easily, if they allowed themselves, be "in love" with someone else. "Being in love" first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. It is on this love that the engine of marriage is run: being in love was the explosion that started it."

-C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

I read Mere Christianity towards the end of high school and I remember liking it but I can't believe this chunk of goodness never jumped out at me before. I suppose back then I didn't have a realistic or personal appreciation for marriage. I love re-discovering things and seeing old things in a new way or for the 'first' time. If Miggy and I were to have another wedding I would definitely add this reading to our ceremony. Over time, I'll don't doubt that I'll find more readings that I love and it's likely that my imaginary second wedding will just turn into a book club. :P