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Friday, August 9, 2013

My Chaotic Horoscope for Today (Written By Me)

The moons of your life are aligning in chaos this month forcing you to face your deepest emotions and sort through your problems. You will face exhausting dilemmas and be presented with risky and rewarding opportunities that promise future happiness and you will have to make difficult decisions that will change the course of your entire life. Your passions & business are about to see a new beginning and choose new paths, face your fears, stop worrying about what others will think and lay aside your proud ego so you can make authentic choices and live happily ever after.

I bet you $20 that's what the newspaper horoscopes would say about Sagittarius today. I've never written my own horoscope before today (ha!) but I started wondering last night if there was something funky happening up there in the universe because I feel like my life is being smashed against the rocks by powerful benevolent ocean waves — knocking some sense into me. Maybe it's just this juice cleanse doing its detoxing magic on my mental-emotional liver?

So many conversations and afternoons lying beneath trees have peeled back layers of my onion-like life leaving me with a whole new awareness of:
  • food and body image (finally breaking out of a cycle of yo-yo diets and self-hate in the mirror)
  • my priorities and how to prioritize them daily (this work-life balance is soo insanely hard!!)
  • the reasons behind my weirdest behaviours and reactions (I'm much crazier and messed up than I thought) - I'm finally understanding why I resist things like playing with children or making my bed or taking daily showers
  • the relationships in my life that are helping/hurting & how I can control my side of relationships
  • the style of my photography has gotten all muddled up and I have to figure out what kind of artwork I really want to create
  • how I feel living in my parents house & working in this home photography studio space
  • the simplest things that are bringing me so much joy - working every morning in the garden growing vegetables (my first zucchini appeared yesterday!!)
  • the way I feel lonely and how I can make friends - it's hard to make new friends as an adult out here in the big world!
  • the deepest resentments and fears left over from my childhood - I thought everything surrounding my childhood and family was perfect but now I'm seeing where the cracks and scars are and it's really hard to let go of my utopian story so I can accept reality and function better
  • the fears everyone else is feeling
  • how I'm relating 40 yr old women more easily than most 20 yr olds right now - getting married & running a business has made me grow up a little - what happened to Never Never Land?
  • what life is really about & what makes people happy - big messy confusing question lol

Does this all come with the territory of being 24 years old and pushing yourself to "rock bottom burn out" by saying 'yes' to too many projects? 
You tell me.