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Monday, July 8, 2013

Self Love :: The Worst Pain Comes From Within

A couple weeks ago I had an IUD inserted. It was possibly the worst pain I've ever felt in my life and the closest sensation to childbirth (although that would be even worse). I didn't want to scream — all I could do was breath slowly as the tears streamed down my checks. I cried the whole way home and the rest of the day I lay in bed with terrible cramps.

Driving home, sitting at a stoplight, I realized that this small procedure was much more traumatic for me than a deep cut on my hand or a broken bone would have been. The wounds on the outside, on our extremities are tangible & far away from our 'self' but the wounds deep inside the body are close to our mind & our core - they are mysterious, threatening & personal - very emotional.

Lying in bed I kept thinking about my stoplight revelation...

"Sticks & stones can hurt my bones but words can never hurt me."

Except they do. Words hurt us all the time and too often they leave us with internal bleeding & scars for the rest of our lives. And as you know, the most hurtful words often come from within, you speak them to yourselves; words you would never dare say to someone else. You somehow think it's OK or not THAT bad because you aren't hurting anyone else but the problem is that you're hurting YOURSELF more deeply than anyone else could hurt you and you don't even admit it. A wound from the outside hurts but the wound from the inside destroys, piece by piece while it convinces you that 'it's not that bad.'

I'm feeling much better down but that day in bed really gave me a chance to reflect on how important it is for us to weed out the negative voices in our heads and replace them with loving & encouraging words.

Be kind to yourself. The wounds from within are the most destructive.