Friday, July 26, 2013

Ditching My Dreams of a Fan Club for Barefeet & a Garden Shovel

I think the key to being original is to be really really down to earth. As soon as you start trying to look cool, be like somebody else and strut your fineness across the playground, you're mucking it up. 

For the past two years I've been looking up to role models in the photography industry who are so glamorous and 'put together' — even though they insist that they have problems just like the rest of us... well, their humble problems still look more glamorous than mine. It's been like a high school popularity contest — desperate for more followers, more comments, more views. Desperate to look equally awesome and important. I thought I needed a fan club worshipping me at my feet - that was the definition of success. 

And then one day one month ago I woke up and realized that I'm a barefoot gardener. I like sweating in the garden, covered in dirt, wearing boxer shorts and a sports bra. I like going for days without showering. I like talking about my messy emotions in public, being an open book. I like being really really weird. I talk in foreign accents all day long and talk to my cat with a puke-worthy baby voice. I don't want fame...I thought I did but I really don't. I don't want to travel around the world for fancy conferences and gigs. I like staying at home in the Snoqualmie valley. 

I want to sleep under the stars in the tent with Miggy and my cat who purrs so loudly all night long. I want to lounge in the sun in a rocking chair, plant veggies, watch them grow, read novels, watch movies and addictive TV shows, listen to really chilled out music, sing really loudly in my car at stoplights, muster the dedication to practice yoga regularly, wake up each morning feeling energetic, drink green juice, cook vegetarian delicacies, bake sugar-free treats, write fiction, be a really good listener, be a really supportive friend, be a little bubble of positive energy that inspires other people, and take really pretty pictures of women that make them feel good about themselves. 

So one day if I suddenly seem really glamorous or put together or fantastically talented beyond belief, don't believe it.